Menu

Your wedding adventure starts here

What are Love Languages??

What are love languages?
It is the different ways that we as humans express our love for others and how it is received. There are 5 languages that we use for giving and feeling the love of others.
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Physical Touch
Keep in mind this is a very brief overview, and not everyone is going to feel and receive love the same way! We each have a way that we relate to each of the above languages, but there are ones that resonate more within you than others. None of it is bad or wrong, but it can help when you expect dinner out and roses on Valentine’s day and your significant other wants to stay home, cook and watch a movie. Your feeling may be hurt because you feel that neither of you that you understand how you want to ‘feel loved. Discovering you and your partner's primary love language and speaking that language regularly may help you have a understanding of each other's needs and support each other's growth.
 
Let’s dive in and look at each “Love Language”
Words of Affirmation
People who use words as a love language value and appreciate verbal acknowledgments of affection, including frequent "I love you’ s," compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and don’t be shy in using social media! If you find a meme, Facebook post, or Instagram share it! They will hear the love in your words.
And below are a few “words of affirmation” that you can use to help get the ball rolling!
You are so special to me.
After all of this time, I'm still so crazy for you.
You inspire me.
Did I tell you how grateful I am that you are my partner?
I really appreciate you.
You look amazing.
I'm lucky that you are my partner.
 
Quality Time
People whose love language is "quality time" feel the most loved when their partner actively wants to spend time with them. This is a love language is all about giving your undivided attention to that one special person, without the distraction of a tv, phones, or even your kids. They have a strong desire to actively spend time with their significant other, having those meaningful conversations or sharing experiences such as watching a sunset or sunrise.
Here are a few suggestions to gift your partner with “Quality Time.”
Spend some time with your partner, go for a walk together, take the dog, but not the kids, so you can focus more on being with your love.
Do a game or at home date night without distractions!
Cuddle up and watch a movie together.
Honor those special days such as Wednesday and take the time to let that time be special. Give that person your undivided attention when they speak, by giving eye contact, and active listening.
Avoid canceling plans- we know life happens, but this can be especially hurtful to those who value quality times.
 
 
Acts of Service
This is a language that I use- It’s going of your way to make your partners life easier for them. Like making their coffee each morning or recording their favorite shows on DVR. People who believe that actions speak louder than words; by doing the smaller and bigger things to make their lives easier or more comfortable, we get to ‘show’ them how much they are loved and appreciated. We all know how to do things for others, but try making that coffee in the morning, offering to take the kids to the park to give your partner some free time, set them up with a bubble bath, or even offer to do some chores that typically your partner takes on.
 
Receiving Gifts
This is pretty straightforward love language: who doesn’t feel love when people give you a gift? Lol! But let’s be clear- it’s not about the money (for most) that makes this language so important to others. It’s the thought behind the item, it’s the deliberate choosing of the item to represent how you feel, and the emotional benefits from receiving the present. Again, this is also a language that I use, I love showing the people around me, that I am thinking about them, even when I see something as simple as a sticker, that reminds me of them. By ‘gifting’ them that sticker, I get to share the feeling that I was thinking about them, and they can ‘feel loved’ by knowing I had them in my thoughts. Keep also in mind, people who use and feel this love language that the key is to be gifted something that is both physical and meaningful. It has meaningful things that matter to them and reflect their values, not always yours.

Physical Touch
People who use and feel love through touch, such as kisses, hugs, holding hands, cuddling together either on the couch or even in bed.  Yes, even sex creates that love language of touch. As humans we crave a physical intimacy with others, and it usually serves as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language. It is a huge affirmation for some people to get that huge hug when they get home from work, that they actually, feel the love from you. It is extremely important to those who have this language to have that human touch, to feel appreciated when they are hugged, kissed, or cuddled. They value the feeling of warmth and comfort that comes with physical touch. We all know how to hug, kiss, and hold hands, just make sure that your partner is ok with it. Some may be ok with hand holding in public, but those deep soul kisses might be better appreciated in private.
 
What is my love language?
To find your type, when you read the above descriptions were there ones that deeply resonated with you? Ones that sound like ohhhh I do that or that’s how I feel! What do you request or actively need from your partner on a day-to-day basis? It’s ok to have more than one or more language, many people do, but the one that resonates with you the most is probably your primary language.
Keep also in mind- this is just a tool for your relationship toolbox, it won’t fix any holes or gaps in your relationship, but it may help you to understand each other and yourself better.
 
For more information or to even take a ‘love language test click on the links below!
 

Go Back

Post a Comment